How Clomid Worked for Me

Many women with PCOS go to Clomid in order to get pregnant.  However, in cases like mine, not only did the drug not work.  I think it made the issues I had been having worse.  I gained weight while I was on this drug and had such large hormonal swings that I thought I was going to lose those close to me.  This was personally one of the worst drugs that I have ever tried. 

My issue is not that I have PCOS, which is an issue that many women have.  I however, have severe PCOS and Clomid was simply not made for that level.  While I have seen others with Severe PCOS manage to get pregnant on this drug.  I was told that it was not very likely for me.  They were right.  During the entire time I was on Clomid, I didn’t even ovulate.  I went from the starting dose the the maximum dose within four months with no result.  However, what I did get was every single side effect.

I remember gaining weight, having headaches, my breasts were swollen and very tender, I was dizzy, and with the dizzy came nausea.  I was told that all of this will pass as I got used to the medication.  Since I showed no sign of the severe side effects that I would be fine.  It was four months of this.  Finally the doctor and I had to call it quits.  The reason for this was that even with everything I had been going through.  I was not ovulating.  I still had to take pills to make my period start. 

I remember at one point on the medication I really wanted to hit my husband.  Who hadn’t done anything!  He had walked in after a long day of work and I started in on him for no reason.  All he asked was that I give him about twenty minutes to unwind from work so that he could handle everything.  I went ballistic and really wanted to hurt him.  At that point I went outside and took a walk.  What he had asked was more than reasonable.  This point was the beginning of month four.  At this point I talked to my doctor and decided that if I didn’t ovulate after this I was going to try something else. I couldn’t handle this anymore. 

This was brought up yesterday on Facebook.  A friend of mine was asking some questions about Clomid on PCOS Woman.  I really had to think about it.  I decided to share my experience.  Even though I had a very negative experience with the drug.  This is for all of those women who didn’t get that miracle that they were hoping for from this drug.  

Kindness: a Three Day Challange

Today in the Grocery store I had a Cyst pop.  This means I am bent over and about ready to pass out from the pain.  I had to stop and grab the frozen food door handle to steady myself while I took relaxing deep breaths.  A couple came up to me and I guess I must have been in the way.  I was trying to not pass out and they start giving me dirty looks like I am keeping them from the frozen vegetables purposely.  They had no idea what was going on with me and could have cared less.  I was in between them and the frozen peas.  How dare I do that to them?  At no time did they ask me to move, they just reached around me, they didn't ask how I was, they didn't care.  

What is so exciting about Frozen Peas that you need to be that rude to someone in pain?  While I will be the first to admit that I am not always the most thoughtful person, I don't try to go out of my way to be cruel to anyone.  

While having a cyst burst is not something that happens to most people, it is a pain like being stabbed from the inside.  It comes on fast and often with no warning.  Not only that, but the pain can linger for a while before finally easing off.  Just because I wasn't bleeding didn't mean that nothing was wrong.  

I ask that you take a second and make sure that you are not being needlessly cruel to others.  While you may not understand what they are going through, I cost them nothing but a few seconds.  There was no reason for the dirty looks and the attitude.  I didn't even care if they reached around me.  I simply couldn't move at that time.  So just take a few minutes and think about others before you decide what is wrong.  

I would like each and every reader to be kind to others if only for three days.  See how much of a difference it can make in your life and the lives of others around you.  That is my challenge to you for this weekend.  Please let me know how it goes.

You are not Crazy! Trust Yourself About Your Body.

When dealing with medical issues I have often noted many a doctor telling me that "You can't know that" or "That location has no nerve endings, you cannot feel anything in that location." In the end many of these people have made me feel that I am crazy and that I didn't really know or understand what is going on with my body.  This continues to make me angry to this day.

About Me

Sorry, I am having more than a little trouble with my PCOS and IGA-D in the last couple of days.  On top of that I am doing a lot of research about gluten free sunscreens and makeup brands.  I will have those posts up in a few days.  So instead of a post like that, let me tell you more about myself.  I did so in my in introduction post and then haven't said much since.

PCOS Periods VS. Normal Period

So I am going to break things down for those with PCOS the difference between a normal period and a period for those with PCOS.  If you have these symptoms you are not alone.  There are many who have the same issues, although they may not talk about it online in an open blog. 

90 Day Weight Loss Challenge by Creative Bioscience

I was recently given the amazing opportunity to take the weight loss 90 day challenge.  After looking over the products I decided to try the hGC 1234 drops.  I have a large issue losing weight due to my PCOS and I am hoping that using the drops I will be able to start losing weight again.  I would like to be a little skinnier for the holidays as well as for the military Christmas party that I am going to.  I hope to lose 15 to 20 lbs on this diet.  I am currently barely within my weight range but I would like to be closer to the middle of what I should weight.  

The hCG drops are offered by Creative Bioscience.  I will be using these drops as well as the diet for 90 days, while trying to reach my goal weight. Creative Bioscience also offers unlimited diet support.  I have never done a diet like this before so I know that the support will be an invaluable asset to me should I start to fail.  

I am very excited to be doing this challenge.  I hope to be successful.  I will be posting before and after pictures and weight as well as sharing the challenges and failings of myself and the diet as often as I can.  I know things are going to get hectic during the holiday season. 
I hope that a mixture of the Drops diet and exercise will be the kick my system needs to finally continue to drop the excess weight. 

A huge thank you to Creative Bioscience for this great opportunity, I am looking forward to seeing what I can do.
If you are a blogger and would like to try the 90 day challenge, feel free to visit and sign up here.  Creative Bioscience 90 day weight loss challenge

The standards for Beauty and PCOS

Having received my Vogue magazine for the month I was browsing through what is popular, what are the current makeup styles and what decade fashion is currently in.  That is when i started to feel bad about myself.  I am no one’s standard of currently accepted beauty.  I work hard to keep myself to borderline overweight, I occasionally still have issues with my skin, my hair gets oily very quickly, and while my legs are really skinny I have a larger top size.  Comparing myself to the people in the magazine was doing nothing for my self esteem and personal view of myself worth.

Having PCOS means that I will never be able to match up to the standards they want without some outside intervention through hormones and careful doctor care.  PCOS isn't only about not being able to have a child, but it is also about having to look at yourself in the mirror.  Most people with PCOS cannot lose weight they simply do not make the right type of hormones to do so.
 

What I have started doing is only looking at the current way to do makeup, or what type of jewelry is current.  It is hard to look at those models. 

The way to keep positive while in a fashion and body obsessed culture.  I try to dress what looks great for the body I have and not the body that I will never be able to have.  I keep up with the makeup trends for example dark eyes are popular right now which is great since I am really pale.


I focus energy on my hair and finding the perfect way of taking care of it, my nails and getting them to look as amazing as I can with or without polish.  Now if I can only stop biting at my cuticles.  What I would like to see is a magazine full of real women wearing clothing.  I don't need to know how the latest fashions are going to look on a stick.  I need to know how they will look on me.


Oh well since that is not going to happen anytime soon.  I will concentrate on those few articles and ignore the rest.  I hope others with PCOS can do the same and not feel bad that they are not the current idea of American beauty.  

On the adoption note this month’s issue contained a story that tug at my heart strings and something that I can understand just not in the same way. 

Just one more obstacle

After all the saving and going over of budgets there is no way we can afford IVF at this time.  I had to just make the phone call that says I cannot afford to do it (though they are very nicely holding my spot for the next two months). Things like Roof and AC issues on the house we own has taken up any money we managed to save.
This is just one more huge let down in the list of what has been our fertility journey.  This means we miss the January window and will have to start again in June of 2013.  8 months of a letdown, everything we have gone through I was hoping that one thing would work out.  However, by the time the next cycle comes around I should be working in the forensic field.  This can be a good and a bad thing.  The bad part of this is that we will have more money coming into the house so hopefully we can afford it the treatments.  The downside is that I cannot do my some of my job while pregnant we were really praying that I would be able to have a child before we got to this stage.  If we had made the January cycle we could have done it.

I get so angry and sad when I think about everything we have been through and now we are stuck in a tricare region that will not allow me to get help outside of IVF and I cannot go to any specialists except for the hospital ran by the military.  They are not willing to work with me and give me the medication that it would take.  They are not willing to help with anything else and we need to pay seven thousand dollars in order to get a child.  If we were to adopt a baby it would cost that much if not more. Tricare southeast would allow it was great in helping me get the help I needed.  Tricare north east has been horrible with almost everything.  I can't even walk in and get a Flu and pneumonia shot.  I needed to make an appointment and prove why I needed it. 

Yes we have thought about adoption however, it is as cost prohibitive as IVF if not more.  When you have a child there is a lot less paperwork and people who are deciding if you are fit or not.  Not that I think we won’t pass the checks it is just a headache I am not currently ready for and simply we cannot afford the huge costs associated.  So many amazing children are out there for adoption and I know why they are not adopted currently.  They make it so hard to be able to get the child and once you do you won't be able to afford to keep them if you are low middle class or below.  I know a few people who have adopted and spent years in debt and this was not getting a child through a private adoption this was through the normal channels.  Which would be something we would be willing to do and yet we can't due to my husband’s job and the amount of debt we are allowed to have.  Those are the same reason we are not able to just get a loan for the IVF.

It makes me so angry that so many women can have children and some of them don't want the children.  They abuse, neglect, and discard them like they have no worth.  Where other people like myself and my husband who are ready for children, who would love them and give them everything we can.  Who are educated and stable are not able to have even one child.  I don't even want to be greedy; all I ask for is one child that looks impossible from where I am right now.  Moments like this make it really hard not to lose faith in the human race and the future of it. 

Also with the lack of fertility hormones running through me my huge imbalances from my PCOS have come back.  I am gaining weight again, I am going through every mood so quickly that it is hard for even me to keep track.  My poor husband is putting up with so much right now I don't know how he handles it.  I am just made an appointment to get hormone treatments. Since the fertility clinic is unwilling to take the time to help with even that.  I know I have said this before but I am really angry at the clinic and the doctors that work there.  Not only for being unwilling to help me but for not knowing the job as well as they should.

I am upset by this push back but really what can I do but wait and save.  How did some of those people on TV afford IVF?  I want to know what type of insurance or doctor they got since I need to use that place.