How Clomid Worked for Me

Many women with PCOS go to Clomid in order to get pregnant.  However, in cases like mine, not only did the drug not work.  I think it made the issues I had been having worse.  I gained weight while I was on this drug and had such large hormonal swings that I thought I was going to lose those close to me.  This was personally one of the worst drugs that I have ever tried. 

My issue is not that I have PCOS, which is an issue that many women have.  I however, have severe PCOS and Clomid was simply not made for that level.  While I have seen others with Severe PCOS manage to get pregnant on this drug.  I was told that it was not very likely for me.  They were right.  During the entire time I was on Clomid, I didn’t even ovulate.  I went from the starting dose the the maximum dose within four months with no result.  However, what I did get was every single side effect.

I remember gaining weight, having headaches, my breasts were swollen and very tender, I was dizzy, and with the dizzy came nausea.  I was told that all of this will pass as I got used to the medication.  Since I showed no sign of the severe side effects that I would be fine.  It was four months of this.  Finally the doctor and I had to call it quits.  The reason for this was that even with everything I had been going through.  I was not ovulating.  I still had to take pills to make my period start. 

I remember at one point on the medication I really wanted to hit my husband.  Who hadn’t done anything!  He had walked in after a long day of work and I started in on him for no reason.  All he asked was that I give him about twenty minutes to unwind from work so that he could handle everything.  I went ballistic and really wanted to hurt him.  At that point I went outside and took a walk.  What he had asked was more than reasonable.  This point was the beginning of month four.  At this point I talked to my doctor and decided that if I didn’t ovulate after this I was going to try something else. I couldn’t handle this anymore. 

This was brought up yesterday on Facebook.  A friend of mine was asking some questions about Clomid on PCOS Woman.  I really had to think about it.  I decided to share my experience.  Even though I had a very negative experience with the drug.  This is for all of those women who didn’t get that miracle that they were hoping for from this drug.  

Kindness: a Three Day Challange

Today in the Grocery store I had a Cyst pop.  This means I am bent over and about ready to pass out from the pain.  I had to stop and grab the frozen food door handle to steady myself while I took relaxing deep breaths.  A couple came up to me and I guess I must have been in the way.  I was trying to not pass out and they start giving me dirty looks like I am keeping them from the frozen vegetables purposely.  They had no idea what was going on with me and could have cared less.  I was in between them and the frozen peas.  How dare I do that to them?  At no time did they ask me to move, they just reached around me, they didn't ask how I was, they didn't care.  

What is so exciting about Frozen Peas that you need to be that rude to someone in pain?  While I will be the first to admit that I am not always the most thoughtful person, I don't try to go out of my way to be cruel to anyone.  

While having a cyst burst is not something that happens to most people, it is a pain like being stabbed from the inside.  It comes on fast and often with no warning.  Not only that, but the pain can linger for a while before finally easing off.  Just because I wasn't bleeding didn't mean that nothing was wrong.  

I ask that you take a second and make sure that you are not being needlessly cruel to others.  While you may not understand what they are going through, I cost them nothing but a few seconds.  There was no reason for the dirty looks and the attitude.  I didn't even care if they reached around me.  I simply couldn't move at that time.  So just take a few minutes and think about others before you decide what is wrong.  

I would like each and every reader to be kind to others if only for three days.  See how much of a difference it can make in your life and the lives of others around you.  That is my challenge to you for this weekend.  Please let me know how it goes.

To Dream or not to Dream

This picture is Public Domain to the best of my knowledge

The NaBloPoMo question today “If you could be given the option to never sleep and also never be tired, would you take it if it meant you'd also never dream again?”

The Mall and Makeup snafus

I was in the Mall recently trying to get my before thanksgiving shopping done.  I was dressed nicely since Saturdays are my day with my husband.  I had spent about 15 minutes getting my makeup ready and being the best me that I can.

We are halfway done with the mall when I get shanghaied by the kiosk lady and she is removing the makeup from half of my face.  Ummm, huh???  I have now been accosted in the center in of a mall and half of my painstakingly applied makeup is removed.  Not even much of an introduction, just grab my arm and telling me that she had something to show me and then she is applying makeup remover.

I am now sitting wondering what I am going to do to fix this mistake.  I am told not to worry that she knows what she is doing and that I spend way too much time on my makeup.  That I need to only spend one minute on my foundation and that they had mixed the mineral foundation with a mineral booster to save me time.  So she applies this foundation to my face and fixed what she had messed up.  At least I thought so, so I look in the mirror and she forgot to notice one very specific thing.  I have pink undertones and she used a slightly orangey undertone foundation so now half of my face is the wrong color. I am half normally colored and half slightly orange.  Now I am very unhappy and odd looking, in the center of the Mall.  My husband is spending his time laughing at me.  However, during this process I was able to find out that the makeup is Gluten free. 

So Ms. pushy is looking at me with a frown on her face.  "Oh maybe you use the wrong shades of makeup?" No I don't use the wrong shades, you did... So not only did she touch me without really asking, she messes up my makeup she uses the wrong colors, then she blames me for choosing the wrong colors when I am using skin matching mineral makeup.  Yep, it is my fault, in every way.  I polity ask for more makeup remover and end up with fantastic eyes and no foundation at all for the rest of my mall trip.  When I finish removing the makeup on my face, the pushy lady is looking at my eye makeup and telling me that they have some fantastic deals on eye shadow.  I almost ran away from her, my husband just makes chicken sounds and we moved on.

There is a point to this story is be extra careful this holiday season these people are nuts.  They need to make a quota and they will do just about anything to get it.  I am not saying that everyone will be this pushy but still be careful with a gluten allergy we have to be extra careful to not eat anything, drink anything, or have anything applied to us that we do not know the ingredients too.  I was safe since the makeup was Gluten Free, however, I did not know that before I was being manhandled. I lucked out this time; however, I may not be lucky the next time I get snagged.  I am going to walk well away from the center of the mall walkways for a while. 

And off topic

This post is a funny story that has nothing to do with being gluten free, infertility or beauty. 

My husband and I purchased a mattress from a store that was going out of business.  We got a great deal on the mattress but to have it delivered would have cost around $100.00 more.  So to save money we decided to move it ourselves.  Not having a truck we took the car to pick it up.  Items required for moving a mattress are twine or rope, a blanket to keep the top of the car from getting scratched and something to cut the twine with.

Before we headed to pick up the mattress we had to renew our lease so now we had a copy of that in the car as well.

Other than having trouble with a mattress strapped to the top of the car on the highway.  (Not fun) when we arrived my husband and our ward took cut the twine and took the mattress up into the apartment while I re-parked the car.  After I got back up to the apartment we couldn't find the knife.  So I went back down and had to gather

1 large kitchen knife
A bundle of twine
1 sheet of plastic
1 blanket
A property rental contract

I am rather glad that no officers of the law passed me during that period of time.  I could not imagine having to explain that combination of items.   This is almost as bad as the time I had a 4 hour glucose tolerance and a whole bunch of blood tests all out of the same arm.  (They left track marks) and the next day I had an eye appointment where my eyes were dilated.  If I had been pulled over I would have been in prison before I could have explained.