Pregnancy Loss

There are so many reasons for pregnancy loss; from medical issues of the mother such as Celiac, PCOS IgA-D, and Lupus, to issues with problems with progesterone production, or just a non-viable fetus.  However, each one of these reasons may not lessen the pain that comes along with losing a child.  

IgA Deficiency ranges

After being gluten free for over a year and a half I got some great news.  My IGA numbers are up from the 40s or 50s; my last test had my Serum numbers at 70! OK I am still below the 81 needed, but that is an improvement... As I said in a prior post the ranges can vary by test but here are the ranges by age

Here are the normal ranges by age!

About Me

Sorry, I am having more than a little trouble with my PCOS and IGA-D in the last couple of days.  On top of that I am doing a lot of research about gluten free sunscreens and makeup brands.  I will have those posts up in a few days.  So instead of a post like that, let me tell you more about myself.  I did so in my in introduction post and then haven't said much since.

IgA Deficiency and What it Means

I have talked about being IgA D but I don't say what that really means, so I went to many web sites to double check what I knew and have broken it down to almost readable levels.  Immunoglobulin A deficiency is where there is a low level of IgA in the Serum (blood).  This is commonly diagnosed for those between ages 20-40.    For people with this issue, if we ever need blood, we have to have washed blood only.  Full blood or blood that is rich in IgA can cause an anaphylaxis effect (strong allergic reaction). 

Gluten free Cold medications

I recently had to go to the doctor for shoulder pain and a sinus infection.  This normally would have been no issue since the doctors are well aware of my issues and try to get me into a room and away from the other patents (due to my IGA-D) however, in this case the nice lady up front forgot to check me in.  I waited over 50 minutes and 20 minutes past my appointment before I went to the front desk to ask what is going on.  I was taken back and put into a room.  The appointment went fine; I tore some of the muscles in my shoulder and did indeed have a sinus infection.

Emotional impacts of any major diagnosis or life change

Being diagnosed with anything life changing can have large emotional impact.  It doesn't have to be death or a terminal illness to have a response just because there is not a deathly outcome doesn't mean that if does not affect ones emotions.  Going through the five stages of grief can just be the start of handling the situation.  Even situations that have been resolved can have this sort of impact. 

When I was diagnosed with Celiac and with infertility and told of the loss and/or imminent loss of my pregnancies I went through these stages. I also went through this when I was told that I had cancer but it was removed and now I am cured.  During these periods I was lucky enough to have people around me that understood and tried to help, that still didn't make the news any less devastating. 

The five stages of grief are
Note: There is no right way to grieve and it may take some longer than others.   These steps may not be in order or may be repeated.  This is only an overview of what can happen not what does happen. 

1. Denial and Isolation:
This has been called a defense mechanism that buffers the immediate shock.  That thought that the doctor cannot do their job right and has made a large mistake.  Simply a person cannot handle the situation and hides from what is going on.  Some of these thoughts for me included "I just need to find someone who knows what they are doing." "There was a mistake in the blood work" or my favorite "who gave this idiot a medical degree?" This is a temporary response that carries us through the first wave of pain.

2. Anger
Once denial starts to wear and reality re-emerges a person can go through anger. This anger can come out at unreasonable times and be aimed at friends, loved ones, animals, inanimate objects, doctors or complete strangers.  This emotion is created to help deflect the pain.  Inside we know that the anger is misplaced, this can cause guilt at being angry which then turns to more anger.  In my case the anger came out at close friends, family and inanimate objects. Not that I didn't blow up at complete strangers it was just less.  I remember throwing a book I was reading since the characters were doing what I could not.  It took me a few weeks before I could read the book again without wanting to destroy it.  I accused those close to me of not understanding or not caring. 

3. Bargaining
This is a way to try to regain control of the situation.  It can come with thoughts of why didn't I make a bigger deal of those symptoms, why did I trust only one doctor.  These “what if” thoughts can often lead back to anger, as they consistently did for me.  I tried making deals with a higher power in order to be able to keep the baby, have a child, or just be healthy and able to eat normally.  This is almost a second form of denial in the way it is trying to protect ourselves from reality.  Once I found that I couldn't do anything different I would then get angry.  I personally was stuck in these two stages for a while on a couple of different issues. 

4. Depression
This can happen in a few different ways, it can be sadness and regret that lead us to separate ourselves from our loved ones and from normal activities.  This is the type I generally go through.  I would lock myself away in my room and fall into fantasy worlds where I didn't have to deal with anything.  I would put myself in front of the computer and hide in Facebook games, stupid things with no real bearing on anything real.
There is a second type of depression that is quieter, those people that look and act fine but haven't cried openly.  Those that keep going to work and seem to handle everything fine, this can sometimes be the more dangerous of the depression since it can last a lot longer and perpetuate it's self.  Thoughts like "why doesn't anyone notice how I real feel?" can occur, if this is the case please try to talk to someone.   In both cases sometimes a hug can really help.  It is not a permanent fix but it can be useful to help a little of the depression not feel so lonely, even if you made the loneliness yourself.   

5. Acceptance
This is the hardest stage to reach, and often you can be stuck in one of the other stages for a very long time.  This stage is shown by calm and withdrawal as you deal.  This is not happiness and often can be mistaken as still being in the depression state.  It is only after this stage that you can start to real deal with everything that has happened.  I am only now just starting to get to this stage after my ectopic pregnancy.  I was stuck in anger and depression for a long time.  I would start into acceptance and then fight against it. Coping with any large change like a diagnosis can be hard, and no one can really understand what you are going through since each person deals differently.  The only advice I can give is hypocritical since I don't follow it, that advice is to allow grief to take its course, try not to fight it.  However, I personally know how hard if not impossible that advice can be.  

With my celiac and immunoglobulin A deficiency it took me a few weeks to come to grips with everything.  The depression stage was short but I real held on to the anger.  Why me and why not others, what did I do wrong? Those thoughts kept me angry since I didn't want to deal, I just wanted it to go away.  I went through many tests and kept hoping that each test would say that the others had made a mistake and I was fine.  However, when I was found to be IGA-D (immunoglobulin A deficient) that was all diagnosis the doctors really needed.  Further testing was to see how far along I had progressed not to prove that I had Celiac. 

Knowing what the stages of Grief are doesn't make it any easier to deal with.  Never let anyone tell you that you cannot be going through those stages simply because they don't think you should.